It’s Time to Have More Meaningful Parent-Teacher Conferences
- Aaron Talley
- Nov 12, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 31, 2022
Parent-teacher conference season is upon us.
Usually an innocuous school event, parent-teacher conferences have been imbued with a new urgency due to the unprecedented shift to remote learning. An abrupt change that has resulted not only in roughly five months of learning loss, but also increased mental distress for parents.
So while parent teacher conferences can offer an oasis of normalcy in an otherwise stressful year, the lingering effects of Covid mean that conferences will have to be more targeted and intentional than ever. These discussions will have to balance parents’ anxieties, while also having clear discussions about student performance.
In my years teaching, I’ve learned that parents tend to prioritize one main thing during conferences--student behavior. While discussing behavior is important, these conversations seldom leave room to showcase the work students are doing, and what that says about their academic capabilities. Furthermore parents are often satisfied with anecdotes and a few broad statements about their child’s academic performance, rather than tangible evidence of student learning.
With the aforementioned learning loss, parents will now need to advocate for their children more than ever. Parents can begin doing this by making several shifts in their thinking around the nature of parent teacher conferences. Below are a few steps that parents can take that will lead to more meaningful conferences that not only alleviate parent distress, but also create actionable next steps for student progress.
Tips for Getting the Most of Parent Teacher Conferences
What to do BEFORE the conference.
Nurture the parent-teacher relationship before the conference. For example, send an introductory email to the teacher letting them know that you’re ready to be a partner in helping your child. Or, reach out to them if you notice your child mentioned them or particularly enjoyed their class--a little gratitude goes a long way.
Reflect on your child as a learner and be prepared to bring up these questions during the conference. Does your child like reading? Are there any topics they are particularly interested in? Are there any behaviors you are concerned about? Bring these up during the conference to see if the teacher notices similar or different patterns.
Have a “prep-talk” with your child. Is there anything they want you to bring up in the conference? Are there any issues they’re having? What do they expect teachers to say? This helps hold your child accountable, but also helps you prepare just in case teachers say anything that feels incongruent with what your child is saying.
What to do DURING the conference.
Assume best intentions. In my experience, teachers usually only call parents as a last resort. If the rapport between the teacher and the student is good--great! But if it’s not, assume that the teacher has the child’s best interest at heart and wants them to do well. Try to maintain an open and curious tone, rather than being defensive or combative.
Feel free to take the lead in trying to nudge the conversation towards student work and data. Conferences are usually rooted in anecdotes, which is fine, but the conversation can be more helpful and powerful when it’s grounded in actual student work. This is also useful if your child has all “As.” You might ask questions such as:
Can you give me an example of work they do well?
Can you give me an example of work they struggled with?
Can you tell me more about how you plan on challenging my child?
Can you show me an example of student work that you consider exemplary?
How can I help with this work at home?
Again be open, kind, and curious, if a teacher isn’t able to provide these answers on the spot, be open to getting it later. But these are assertive questions that can give you more insight into your child’s abilities, and also shows the teacher that you take their progress seriously.
Involve your child. Ask them if they agree/disagree with what the teacher is saying. Ask them if there’s anything they want to clarify. Pay attention to their body language as the teacher speaks. Of course, student and teacher perceptions can differ, especially if it’s a difficult conversation, but involving your child helps them be accountable for their own learning, and can help lead to an action plan.
Try to end with clear next steps. Ask what you can do to help, come to an agreement on 1-2 clear action steps, and be prepared to follow up with the teacher afterwards. You might also want to ask what the teacher is planning on covering next.
What to do AFTER the conference.
Follow through on the action steps from the meeting. After parent teacher conferences, many just return back to their regular schedules. Try to hold yourself accountable for what was discussed.
Check back in with the teacher a few weeks afterwards. After some air time, this is a good time to see if the steps discussed from the meeting are working. If not, it’s important to revisit before report card marking.
It’s too soon to learn the long term consequences of Covid and remote learning, but rather than despair, parents and teachers can use conferences this year as a true opportunity to go beyond business as usual, and become partners in really helping to drive student success.
Aaron Talley is a writer, educator, and activist originally from Detroit, Michigan. His work, which focuses on the intersections between identity and education, has been featured in Education Post, South Side Weekly, and The Nation Magazine among others. He has served Chicago Public Schools in various capacities, including as a member of CPS' Inaugural Teacher Advisory Board, and as a Framework Specialist teacher mentor. In 2018, he was a Fund for Teachers Fellow, where he was awarded a grant from Chicago Education Foundation to visit Japan in order to develop an Anime-focused elective for students. He received both his B.A. and M.A. from the University of Chicago, and currently teaches 8th grade English at Lindblom Math and Science Academy.
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